There was a time in my life when I felt like I am left behind ‘my worst fear’ in every aspect of that phase in my life. I lost people I used to be around leading to certain misunderstandings loosing further more handful of company I had. My academic weren’t right on the track I could see all my mates and friends moving forward when all I had was coaching assessments coming up while all they did was post university hallways and beautiful cafes. I wanted to come up to my parents expectations and able to answer the question been asked by people around. The self-confidence of mine couldn’t go to a level any lower.
The fact that I never tried to push myself up but what if I had enough confidence to not let anything affect me from foreign and wouldn’t let any voice from outside change my thoughts I could lessen the span of me disappearing from the reality. It would only take me one NO to cause the spirit in me to never die. The struggle I had of getting out of bed and seeing people around could have been replaced by motivational words to myself and looking up to their eyes and being able to say everything is destined to happen at its time not rushed.
There was a time then and now that I have everything on track but it took a lot from me to be where I am and with whom I am. The people I have chosen to be with have given me a bit of that confidence that I lacked previously that I still have something to hold on to. The university I am in and how I got in makes me believe I always had the potential I doubted I lacked. The WHAT IF could make the process easier for me if I thought of that before but sometimes the realization comes to you as a thought u don’t tap over.
By Barirah Rehan
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